Watch your language

Dear dude who just apologized after cursing. I heard you say, "Oh shit" and then saw you look pointedly at me with a belated "Oh sorry."
Guess what. I have heard curse words before. I have strung together wholly unique combinations of words that would make a sailor blush (come to think of it, I don't know any profane sailors, so sorry sailors). I am not a "little lady" that you need watch what you say in front of. If a 3rd grader has heard that kind of language, so have I. You don't need to apologize. We all get upset. Like when you click the wrong window and I see you've been browsing women's underwear. That's an acceptable time to curse if you feel like it. I get it. You curse, your grandmother curses, we all curse. It lets off steam in the working world. So stop looking at me afterwards and apologizing. I am not some frail object that has managed to grow up past the playground, through college and now into your office and gotten by without hearing whatever word you want to exclaim.
Because it really makes me angry. It makes me want to curse. I want to ask you, "What the fuck are you apologizing for, you think I haven't ever fucking heard that word before asshole?" But I know that would squash your ideals of womanhood and feminity. And clearly I have not passed the bar to being "one of the guys" as even in your moments of frustration you can never forget that I am a woman, and never shrink from applying your own perceptions to what and who you think I am. But I'm not worried about that today. We all curse. Your dainty little wife curses, maybe when you're not around so as not to upset your sensibilities. So please stop fucking apologizing.

1 comment:

  1. I get that all the time too! It makes me want to FEMINIST HULK SMASH!!!!

    My usual M.O. is to (sarcastically) bat my eyes and thank them (in my best fake Southern Belle voice) for protecting my lady-ears and delicate lady-brain from the horror of such language, seeing as I have never heard such a thing before. Then I get serious, glare at them and say, "I've worked for X for three years -- do you think I would have lasted this long if I were offended by four-letter words?" (where X is the name of my boss, a man well known for his salty language) "I have been known to string together sets of obscenities that would peel the paint off these walls!"

    But you're right, the problem is not my familiarity with curse words, it's my matching 23rd chromosome pair. Fuck it, maybe next time I should just go all FEMINIST HULK SMASH.