12.04.2010

Weekend Confessions: Envy

I am a bad person because I often feel superior from other people's failures. When I think I have taken a better path there is a spark of glee from me when others stumble and fall on their own paths. I think it is because I am envious. I don't want to feel like someone made a better choice than me, so I look for ways to justify what I've done and am secretly ecstatic when things don't work out for them. There is a part of me that justifies this by running through all the things they might have the better hand than me on, looks, money, better car, better job. And when they screw up, and I am happy about it, I tell myself that it's okay to feel smug because afterall they already have numerous advantages over me. I feel remorse and guilt over plenty of things in my life, but this attitude is not one of them. I know somewhere it is wrong to feel this way, that even if I am not acting that the attitude is getting through and could be hurting people or alienating colleagues. But despite all that, I continue to revel in other seeemingly successful people's shortcomings.

1 comment:

  1. That's perfectly human. I think anyone who says they don't compare themselves to others and don't gloat at the failures of those they consider somehow superior is a fucken liar.

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