What is life but periods of restlessness and waiting in between thrilling conference calls? If you'd like to frost my cookies with your incompetence, here are some great methods:
- Call in with your crappiest, off-brand cell phone, preferably with poor reception wherever you are
- Call while driving so you are distracted
- Bonus points for revving your engine, leaving the windows down, listening to the radio, and yelling at other drivers
- Don't bother to use the mute button, we know it's difficult, and we all love to hear your background noise
- Call in from home where we can hear your kids and dogs in the background
- Bonus points for any reference to a comfy chair and good dinner being made that rubs it in for the rest of us still in the office
- If you're going to call in from a conference room, sit as far away from the phone as possible
- Talk quietly if the phone is far away from you
- Scream into the phone if you're holding it to your ear
- Get distracted doodling and make everyone repeat the issue for you when your status comes up
- Eat while on the call
- Preferably something loud and crunchy or at least loud packaging
- Talk to passersby without muting your phone, hey Joe! Have a nice weekend?
- Let us all know what important meeting you really need to get to, we certainly have nothing better to do
- If sick sniffle constantly and sneeze loudly into the receiver
- Assign work to people who couldn't make it to the meeting and forget to tell them
One of my coworkers has had this cough going on for 3 months now. It drives me crazy because he coughs so loudly that I can't hear what people are saying...and it drives me particularly crazy during our telecons with customers. I hate asking someone to repeat themselves but it's that or not know what's happening. :-P
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