Too Complicated for Some People

Dear Coworkers,
I know you can not be bothered to make a fresh pot of coffee. You are probably very busy. And even though you took the last cup of coffee, maybe you think it being 9am that nobody else wants any. I understand you're so important you shouldn't have to be the one to make a fresh pot. I mean, this must be somebody else's responsibility, right? Well it's not. Much as we all wish The Company provided us with free coffee they do not. Therefore, it is not the responsibility of the cleaning person or an admin or some woman to make your coffee for you. We all chip in. Kind of like some terrible communist organization. I mean, for now we all contribute to coffee so it can be cheaply available but maybe tomorrow we'll enact Death Panels and decide when we want to kill your grandmother. However, until that time it is every single coffee drinker's responsibility to make a new pot when they take the last cup or see that it is empty.
Maybe I am getting you wrong. Maybe you are not some half-witted, slothful, self-absorbed windbag too busy talking about how busy you are and spending too much time on the phone. Maybe you are overthinking this and have decided to follow this Quality Planning Procedure. If that is the case I am sorry. I thought with no "Quality" or "Program Managers" in this building we would be safe from this kind of lack of initiative. You must be the same person who leaves your half-eaten oatmeal bowls filled with dirty water on the countertop for the rest of us to enjoy. If that is the case there is no hope and I only wish you good luck on your review this year so you can get promoted to somewhere more important where you can find more like your kind.
Sincerely yours,

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