Imposter Engineer

Despite coming from the generation where supposedly every kid got a trophy just for participating I am not an overly confident person. Don't get me wrong, I am confident in who I am. Thanks to a family that raised me right, no adverse or unstable conditions in my childhood, and now a good support system of that same family, my husband and some friends I feel good about who I am. But when it comes to what kind of engineer I am I have a strong case of imposter syndrome.

Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

The engineers whose intelligence I admire come from a mix of backgrounds. Some from prestigious schools, some from less so, and still more who never got a degree but you would never know it based on their top notch job performance. Sometimes I see people at my age and career path who seem to possess a better working knowledge of the equipment and I begin to question why I am even here.

Only occasionally am I surprised in the other direction. I wrote just yesterday about my struggles with report and technical writing only to be surprised today putting together a report with some of my fellow students. Granted I have a lot more experience writing reports than they likely do, but oftentimes I am impressed with their previous knowledge and experience (some a military background) as well as their creativity and innovation. However none of this made them good writers and their portions of the report were unclear and not persuasive.

So I spend a lot of time checking out books from my university library (while I still have access) and reading up on what I wish I knew more about, the thing my group does primarily. Still I don't feel this provides me with the instinct and hands on knowledge I respect from my superiors. And yet, though I feel my university gave me a good theoretical background I've seen other students from the same university and at about the same career point able to grasp theoretical workings of the equipment much faster than I can. So I know there are two paths I need improvement on.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not good at this. That perhaps my sparkling personality (you didn't see that coming did you) or mere determination is the only reason I'm still here. It would explain a lot of the unfair treatment I get. At other times I wonder whether I am more competent than I realize, though possibly less so than the people I compare myself to. Other times I wonder if I am excelling and just don't realize it. Then I swing back to thinking I am incompetent and a below average Engineer. One small benefit of working on an interdisciplinary team is how it exposes you to what you do know and other engineers don't. And that's one of the nice things about being surrounded by sparkies (that's EEs) on EngineerBlogs. When they talk about something electrical or build something amazing it doesn't bother me as much because I'm not an EE and I don't feel as bad by comparison. It's more a fun experience of learning a little about something I didn't already know. If only I could apply the same attitude to my own discipline.

Path to a better writer

I am totes swamped today. Hence swamp thing perched above my words. And this is why I only have the neurons to spare for one thoughtful post today. You will have to head over to EngineerBlogs to read my post: Technical Writing Ups & Downs. Because hey, it's on my mind grapes right now. Because guess what I'm swamped with?

Treading Water

I have 2-3 test plans to write and several large configuration packages to compile. Then there's school where I have two very large, comprehensive reports to write on experiments. Thank goodness other people are writing good things on the internet.

 

Over at Engineer Blogs Fluxor gives a very clear explanation of the Smith Chart, even a sprocket like myself can understand.

 

Cherish clarifies what electronics reseach is and isn't as relates to an electronics miniaturization office that was shut down at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks for supposedly doing too much research and not enough building.

 

Kaydee over at the Engineering Ethics Blog talks about the changing balance in Scientific American in its portrayal of the sciences and its political bent.

 

Christina Mackenzie over at Aviation Week talks about Eurocopters gradually becoming more and more unmanned.

Someone had to write that

Writing a procedure to pressure test a bunch of tubes has got to be the most boring thing ever. Connect tank to adapter. Connect adapter to tube. Turn tank on until gauge reads 40 psi. Turn tank off. Wait five minutes. Write down the number. Subtract number from 40 psi. Write down delta.

 

You can not put rinse and repeat in a technical document.

 

I lied. I think reading this might be the most boring thing ever.

Mystery Science Car Manual

I was looking for some information and stumbled upon the surprising fact that Chevrolet has all its car manuals for its latest cars online in easy PDF format. Of course, being able to find scanned car manuals is nothing new. But having the official ones all on an easy to access page is pretty nifty. So I was leafing through and just had to laugh. Here's why.

What's up with this "safety" mechanism? How am I supposed to keep my kidnap victims in my car? Or more importantly, how effective is my trunk as a zombie catching device when the zombie can just open the trunk and get the heck outta there?

I assume this means we should anchor babies in car seats so they don't float away. That or training our kids early to be sailors when we run out of oil and can't drive around in cars anymore.

In the US we have air bags. In Canada and Mexico, you just hold a beach ball on your lap. It's probably just as effective. That or they were too lazy to figure out how to spell "air bag" in Spanish or French. Or possibly the translation of air bag is something disgusting in one of those languages. Anyways, why complain when hanging out in your car is like a day at the beach!

This is pretty good. Not only does this car have some powerful ultrasound or see-through device that can clearly see your fetus but apparently it's really darned uncomfortable to drive when your pregnant. Look how unhappy that woman looks. Motion vibes are coming off her back she's so uncomfortable. The auto manual also reminds us, like the airplanes, that the best way to protect your kids is to save your own life first.

Maybe this is a clever graph for the BP oil spill. Or a new mode of transportation.

"You can lose control of the vehicle if you try"... to sleep while driving. Also not recommended. Or maybe she passed out from the jolting experience of adjusting her seat too fast.

I hope helpless adults doesn't include Project Engineers. Because they're pretty helpless. But I still reserve the right to leave them in my car if necessary. Since clearly locking them in the trunk won't work.